Why A Solid Friendship Is Crucial To The Foundation of Any Relationship
My latest feature on Madame Noire
One of my favorite movies in the world is Brown Sugar. Maybe it’s the writer in me that can relate to the story’s main protagonist, Sidney Shaw, maybe its the fact that I’m a hopeless romantic and have an infatuation with the story of hip-hop and how it came to be. Whatever the case, I can watch this movie over and over again, never growing tired of watching Sidney and Dre’s romance blossom from innocent friendship to romance on my television screen. I always turn to mush as the movie comes to and end Sidney finally confesses her love for her longtime best friend over the radio airwaves of New York City’s Hot97. Unfortunately, there is no sequel to Brown Sugar, so one can’t say for sure whether or not things worked out for Sidney and Dre. The fact of the matter is that this is only a movie and they are only fictional characters birthed from some amazing storyteller’s imagination, so one can argue that the relationship between Sidney and Dre is highly idealized and overly romanticized. However, the one thing that can be taken away from these characters is the importance of friendship and the part it plays in the success of romantic relationships. Okay, no I am not suggesting that you go jumping out of the window, forcing a relationship on your nearest male friend, but, what I am saying is that there should be some form of a close friendship between you and your spouse or significant other.
It is a common occurrence to hear people refer to their spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, fiances etc. as their best friend, so common that many write it off as cliche. But, when you really think about it, if this is the person that you are building a life with, entrusting your emotions to, and investing your time in, shouldn’t you guys be friends as well? The bond of friendship is usually formed between partners during the early “get to know you phase” of dating and courtship. The phase where emotions aren’t too much invested. It is during this time where a couple will begin to learn more about one another, such as likes and dislikes, hobbies, goals, aspirations, fears, familial structures, good habits, bad habits, and so on. Unfortunately, we are living in the microwave generation where we demand instant gratification instead of sitting back and waiting for something to blossom in the timing that it is supposed to. As a result of this, many couples find themselves fast forwarding past this fundamental bonding period and dive head first into full blown romantic whirlwinds
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