Natural Hair: My Internal Battle
There are two people that exist inside of me when it comes to my hair. There’s the girl who absolutely loves her relaxed hair and then, there’s the girl who admires natural hair from a distance. While, my hair is about as healthy as relaxed hair can be, there is something about natural hair that relaxed hair just lacks. Natural hair is so strong and looks like it can survive just about anything. In secret I long for that for my own hair; however, the process of going from relaxed to natural is what always seems to deter me.
I felt natural fever creeping up on me about six months ago and I made the decision to go natural but then quickly relapsed and ran to the hair salon to get a relaxer. After analyzing this relapse I realize that going natural is more of a mental thing than anything else. I don’t believe that I was deterred by the manageability of my hair because I found a transitioning style that I could do myself at home and I was pretty happy with it. What truly caused my relapse was that I began to panic. What would happen the more my hair grew out and it became obvious that I was going natural? What if something went wrong during my transitioning process and all of my hair fell out? What would my hair actually look like once I was fully transitioned? What if I don’t like it? Needless to say after mulling over those questions long enough I couldn’t get back to my beautician’s chair fast enough. The biggest hurdle of transitioning from relaxed to natural is jumping into the unknown not truly knowing what you’re going to get until you get it. I have gotten relaxers since I was about 7 years old and have absolutely no idea what my natural hair was like except that it was difficult to manage.
Once I made the decision to go back to getting relaxers I felt a little relieved. One reason was that I no longer felt the anxiety of entering into the unknown and two I was no longer straddling the fence. I had made a decision to stay relaxed. Six months later I feel the natural bug creeping up on me again. Sigh, here I am with another decision to make.